Revenge, 20 years old, I've slept with 30 men

I'm not in control of his desires.

Later that day, and I still keep in touch over the phone. Many minutes we confided to light, know how many secret things I have kept for myself but now has the opportunity to release and share. I love you from time to time or not. After all this time just stopped in the calls, I actively see you go out and don't hesitate to grab his hand, put up that first kiss. What is to come, I also agree with you, go to a rest home, in which I officially lost the most precious thing of the woman, which I have protected for over 18 years. But the main part is that I'm also irritated for so long but haven't had the chance. I had the hot movies from school level 3, each finished watching all the flaming and rạo also have been waiting to this day to satisfy what she wants.

Then, we still keep in touch, occasionally Brunch "go out", I did not hesitate to agree and put a lot of expectations on this relationship, because I believe in love and the "poison" on his bed Zhao will make disappear the distance and the difference between us. I step a step down to the bed to become a woman and to accept that. Not long after, we went, he says that he must get married and I suddenly understood the problem. I painfully unpleasant, hold a time but failed. I understand and accept.

The following month, I always feel sucked, discomfort in people. I was then very beautiful, although only his home, but the girl is white water, the knob should be money cheek not least men pursue, from learning to the socialrelationship. I makeover to become a different person, very active and not afraid to communicate. I accepted the invitation of the high guy winters healthy, do not need much money, I always meet "the needs" of them, even as people suggest.

To date, though the age of 20 but I have "love" not under 30 people. I know so many women who will criticize and belittle me. But I do not control their desires known, I always live with the obsession of deprivation "emotionally", so each affair to and staggering, sometimes just cross the road one night and then forget. He would "weak" I kind of always. Now when thinking of his time was over, I felt scared and ashamed, I tried learning meditation to control themselves. But every time he saw my messages "go play" who's your boyfriend, I felt restless and eager. I wish I could do it again ...=