Bed for 2 years, my husband has not yet overcome the fist

I am 32 years old wife of 27 years. Two new us marriage was more than 2 years. In making Agency Chief, home made my husband, I don't allow myself seem tired or expressed any weakness. Private couple story, the more I don't want to talk with friends or relatives in the family. The officers send a few lines up here, looking forward to the center you can give me the right advice.

The life of the couple I looked at also seems very good.

The life of the couple I looked at also seems very good. Not to worry about the economy, no frictions mother-in-law-bride, I'm not gambling, alcohol tea, my wife also not mesmerized forums đúm. To say we are not happy nor my spouse, is little quarrel, frictions. Perhaps the problem lies in that she does not love me.

Two years before deciding to marry her, I also know this. At the time, I'm 30 years old is still my wife 25. Previously, in the age range we are "discounted" truth but with society now, have delayed several married nor too late. But since the age of 27 years, after the end of a love affair was too long because the betrayed, I am also not interested in love again. There are also many girls come to my party, there's also deep, superficial also because the money is there, but every time, I can't help but laugh at the jokes and discreetly declined.

I don't understand why, when seeing my wife now, I see .... From earlier times in high school I was not good at doing text should not know to describe how. But who has ever loved and will understand me. That's a thought pops up in my head and said: "it is her!".

I don't think my feelings is love lightning. Because until there is the feeling, we already knew was more than a year. My wife then term real nothing exceptional. She is the employees but also the cousin of a brother from the University. She's not too pretty, not too smart, long vacuum, not nice shape, indeed is nothing outstanding.

But like everything is all set, we meet in the company, few times accidentally hit each other on the street. My wife when it is not plain, not excitedly, she treated me to some extent and standards. But when seeing her cry, I get the feeling like to cover for this woman all my life. I'm not chasing her, no presents, no flowers, no diamond ring also doesn't pull her onto the bed and then getting married.

I am not a romantic person. I just asked her a question: "are You the 30 years. Home, car, have a stable job, not addicted to smoking, don't play the daughter, not his ex-wife, not my own. Don't you know I love you or not but I know I want to safeguard and protect children. I don't love him also. So we both fair. I just want to have a family. Can you tell me? ". Many years passed, the reaction on my face on my wife's like, I don't remember clearly. I just remember her not quicker not slow, my answer: "Yes".

So we step into the marriage present full of staggering. There have been many times I wonder if you are the right choice or not. But whenever I see my wife, I didn't have a doubt about his decision. I did not ask her about the story of the past, she also did not say. Say I'm not curious as to lie, I would want to know but have a feeling something like fear to know everything, I'd choose the escape. By I have a very clear feeling that she never forget people in the past.

A few days after marriage, she brought me a gift. That is nearly a dozen kegs journal her writing from the age of 12 until 25 years of age. I have all night to read every one. She's written a lot of stories, miscellaneous, from when to when to go home. But from the age of 17 onwards, in the stories that my wife ever since, only a single protagonist. That is her first love, by age. They love each other not long ago.

I thought the awkward emotional type who steals, naïve of the age of the pupils will soon low as cover other stories. But, my wife just love him forever. Even when his son that changed a lot of the new girlfriend, my wife still volunteered to stay. They even sleep together. Her relationship lasted many years, throughout high school until University graduates still not severed. But half a year ago (before we got married) man, which according to European families settled then they must stop all contact, both in terms of ... the body and the spirit.

In the last page of the journal, she wrote me a very long paragraph. Dai noted that she once had a man like that, love him like that, go to bed with him like that and then take me like that. She does not want to deceive also does not want to have to deny anything. She hopes I can accept all.

I'm not jealous. I just feel terrible to sour. That night, standing out on the balcony to smoke until the morning of, I don't know how I should be. Divorce right after a few days living or continued to shadow her? But when the step from the room working out, saw the ball back my wife all turned to prepare breakfast, I found my heart warm again. I remember the words I said when asked her. She can give me the feeling of a family, that's enough.

Throughout the two years together, we shared a bed but not sleep, once far beyond than the ones holding hands and embrace. I feel the stand of rice my wife every time I intend to proceed further. I don't want to squeeze her.

Sometimes we walk, go see the film, as the other couple dating. I loved the feeling of his wife's hand can go between crowded place, love the weakness of her each time she curled in my lap full of tired.

Because of that moment, I pretend not to see the moment she broke the spirit think distant. I also do not know the day she also keeps the habit of watching the forecast forecast of Madrid. I leave it all. By I believe one day that she can love her. I know, just as I'm self medicating yourself.

Can life just passed as such until I accidentally read messages sent to her friend's. A message saying that the man that she loves earnestly, just two months will return. Don't know if I'm too sensitive but also from that day my wife short-tempered unjustly, frustrated with me and she's thẫn moments of worship more than before. I am silent, pretend not to know. I'm really afraid to toss everything out to sea and then we can no longer duck pretending to be together anymore. I love our life now, though all is just a drama.

 Sometimes, looking at my wife like now, I had thought to give up.

I know my wife's personality, her pride and respect me enough to never do something sneaky back. If desired, she probably would suggest splitting. Sometimes, looking at my wife like now, I had thought to give up. I do not know themselves also had enough confidence to turn her affections. I feel like holding your own happiness the woman that I love the most. But 2 years with her, I've become more greedy than before too much. I not only want to cover and protection for my wife, I want to make her happy. But know how to let her give me a chance to open her heart out?=