The center of his life scene sex not marriage

We are currently in the stage of complete promotion procedures for divorce. The only thing I know for sure about the time living as I have to have kids with this man. They are my heart, is the motivation to live next. That was the only positive aspect that I can cling during "the war divorce".

But in fact, the warning signs appeared from early on.

Me and my husband together are right 5 times during 12 years of cohabitation

Months early a date, we do it very actively and quickly cleaning up to the living. However, I found myself always proactively suggest. I try ' reverse "but realize that once I stop actively, we" sex vacation ".

But I still love him, a person under me is the smart, handsome, kind, interesting conversation. Also no one else approached me enough variety to choose from, so I just stick with him.

I wish he was more active but that never happened. Time off for as long as I related the pressing and angry. I switched sports to discharge stress. I practice gym 5 days a week and rising straight from the size 10 about the longer size 4.

After 2 years of non-relation, a new job brought us to come to New York. The curse of "non-sexual" our remains in force. We drove to Montauk and here he proposed marriage. I hate the ring, not because of it, that is because I am stuck in relationships lacking in passion. But I still say "Yes". That night we do not dynamically to each other-the result is hard to swallow. We are also not related to the wedding night. Both occasions the honeymoon then, sex continued absence. During the first year of our marriage, not "sex". The first time we do it after marriage, fortunately, is also the time to conceive out of her first child. Nearly 2 years of non-related-then we tried again and get a daughter after 2 times "love".

The main damage is to my husband I loathe

I was looking to the doctor to try to find out why his time also tend to resentment. The main damage is to my husband I loathe. He also never arranged a date so that we can connect with each other. The last drops of water make the spill cups is when we go to therapy together. "She needs treatment than I am," he told the doctor.

Since then, he started sleeping on the sofa. After a year of sleep, I have met and crush a man. Yes, I had an affair. After a too long time to hold their fast sex, no colliding instincts of man, I have to crush a way crazy. He's passionate, always liked kissing, holding hands and dancing with me. He can look at me sank drowning under the way I blush to cheeks up, because no need to say a Word, I still know he desires.

My husband fully knew about this relationship. I've even ask him for tips. Ostensibly, we still look like a perfect couple with 2 beautiful children. But inside, I feel fantastic, tension, shame and like being scammed. I feel guilty because I was the "bad people". I tried to clean it out, find an apartment but need the signature of my husband to hire, but he refused. I feel trapped.

Must come when my husband began courting a woman, then everything changed. I have to admit that her extreme pain when knows he has to do it with a different woman, also with the I don't have inspiration. I also feel pain when had lost his best friend.

But the pass all the shocking divorce, I no longer feel worthless anymore. I am a women with curves and for the first time, after a long time, I feel I also quite sexy. I don't care what other people think about his views.

I fear not? Of course. But not because of his fear of going alone. I'm just worried about all this will affect the children, and that the financial conditions of the I can meet them or not.

But whatever it is, the better a marriage not sex. To me, it is loneliness I've ever lived in the world.=